Okay so these are some posts for earlier this week and last week… I just never posted them here…
( Sept 16… )

( Sept 14… )

( Sept 10… )

I have a bit of a dilemma in life. This year is going to be the one that leaves a mark. I’m sick of being the one that’s always the oldest in the group and treated like dirt. I really don’t think they know it, or mean to do it. But believe it or not, I do have feeling I need to share, and sometime I need someone with more experience in live to talk to. I ‘m not saying they are bad people or bad friends but it’s just strange, when I tell people that all my friends are younger than I am, and they meet them and see how strangely I’m treated. I hear my relatives talking about it and I really got me thinking.

My friends are like a bubble and I’m the one trapped in side and I can’t pop it. Honestly they don’t grow up. Maybe it’s because I’ve changed and I expect them to as well. Or I expect too much from them?

For example, they all like anime really much, and I do it. Or did. I still like it, but not to eh point where I want to go to ever convention and spend every penny I can, and get everyone autographs, and sit in class when I should be working on an assignment and not surfing the web for new anime pictures. I even got yelled at for not being an “otaku”… Well obviously… I’m not that sickly obsessed. And after the second set of Japanese students I found out that an “Otaku” isn’t what they think it is. It’s actually diss for people who are obsessive about anime in Japan because Anime isn’t really THAT much of a craze. Well in some areas it is, but believe it or not, there is more to Japan than…. Anime… duh, duh, duh. I also think it was really shallow of them to say they want to learn Japanese just toe watch anime? And go to Japan Just to get anime stuff? I don’t know, I just think it’s a little rud… what happened to learning about the culture, and the other things in Japan? Like food, people, live styles, schooling?

{ I personally want to try a home stay. It would be an amazing experience and I’m really curious to see how Japanese schools are in person. Not to mention that there are some amazing things to take photos of. I also want to go to Korea. It’s a big dream of mine, and it’s really hard to learn Korean… I probably won’t go till my mid 20’s or so, but still. }

this year, I think I‘m going to hang out with a different crowd. I like my close friends but I can’;t stand talking about anime 24/7 I picked CGGD because of my love for video games, and getting in to anime was just a boost. But I can’t take this obsessing of there’s anymore. I admit I obsessed too. But I dropped it after a few days. I need the real world, and I need ot get out of this box.

And seriously, I’m soo sick of having them compete against me for the smallest of things…
Sydney competes against my drawing skills and so does stephie.
Brittany was competing against me for having the longest hair. I had really long hair till I cut it, and now she has the longest and is getting it cut as well. O.o [okay if that’s not just weird I don’t know what is…]

Yo, yo ,yo, yo!
( So yesterday… )

Have you ever notice how fans are affected when a band decides to break up, or a band member decides to leave the group. This excludes death of a member…

The fans really cry, and they cry buckets, it’s like their world is falling apart. :( It’s really heart breaking to see them, especially if they are your fans. I remember way back when Fallen was still together. I think Neal leaving was way more dramatic than the band calling it quits. I even cried when we came to the final song that night than we all hugged and I cried more. O.o Though I never see the guys cry... I guess they really don’t care… Go figure… they’re guys… :p But the guys in band cry… Max, and Tristan, cried together. So it’s only guy fans… I wonder if they even feel sad? Do they have any emotions? I’m not saying I want them to cry or anything… It’s just some thoughts I’ve been having lately.

It could just be me. Ah.. I can’t type any more… My mind it falling apart… I need some time to myself. I’ll see you all later.

Yes it is 'almost'... Why? Because there isn't really 100 things about me here.
Well if you read it, You'll find out.
( The List that isn't really 100 )

Yo! Konbanwa! I’m alive! It’s soo hot… and apparently there’s some tornado warning today. But there barley any wind our side and the little wind we do have is more like a breeze….

Well Sorry I haven’t updated in a while… I’ve been busy! @_@ But I’ll fill you in as best I can. [Note= these are several different entries all posted at once… and are dated, the most resent is at the top and the earlier post is at the bottom.] Well I have dyed my hair, yes, AGAIN! But it’s just black, well some parts are a dark navy colour because they were blond before. Let me tell you, I look strange, and feel strange with suck dark hair all of a sudden. Well you know you’ve seen me around I always have bright coloured hair! Now I don’t… Just black…. and navy blue!

This should help with my Work appearance, because it’s all about how you look. And when I was black and blond, with blue/green in it I got some weird looks. Honestly I didn’t like the blue/green, but I was waiting for it to wash out so it would just be blond/orange, and black underneath. Sadly, because of the unexpected phone call, its now fully black, but soon, I plan on putting a purple/red streak in it. Just one. Why? Because it’s cool, and I’m cool, and well your not! Woot woot! Just kidding, just kidding!

Oh man… my first day or training is tomorrow… I’m soo nervous…. I still have to hand in my form about the pay check thing, and I don’t know who to give it to, and I still don’t know if I should wear my uniform to the other store… O.o; why are they soo confessing… WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY!!! Blah… I guess I’ll just bring it with me…. Ahhh. I’m still nervous… Soo nervous, I need to get out and do something… OR I’ll end up running circles… 550 times…. @-@….
I’m going to sleep.
Dewa mata

~07.31.06~
Happy Birthday Brittany! You ungrateful duck face! Oh I said it.. I totally said it! In your. …Cake… I hope you had a blast on Monday, and I’m sorry I couldn’t get you anything more then the two posters. >.< I will just make up for it at Christmas! I promise! Or I could take you out as well, like I was taking Sydney out. But obviously not on the same day… that’s far too much trouble!

~07.29.06 ~
Like everyone you have to go to some amusement park right? [Crowd: YES!] All right, well I did, and I invited a friend of mine and her friend… What a crazy trio we were… Anyways I was counting how many cute/hot Asian boys I could meet up with. It isn’t, as weird as it sounds... trust me… It’s kept me busy while we stood in line for rides and what not. But by the end of the day I had a count of 45. Well 44 but one got points for being very entertaining, when we waited for the ride to be fixed. He was cute, and funny, just ask Brittany… Actually DON’T! I’m scared of what she might say… O.o

I can’t believe she dropped funnel Cake, ice cream, and strawberries on me! DUDE! I was soo full of adrenaline I dropped strawberries and ice cream on myself… o.O Not cool… So I had to go back to the car and strip down in public [I was wearing a swin suit Underneath….] … Damn Christy… changing in the car… but in the car was waaaaaay hotter… :p And your sun burn was horrible. [Laughs] And those carbonated slushies were sooo good.

~07.28.06~
So a few days ago, I got a call form A&P… I’m hired. And today I had to go for my orientation. But let believe you me, I have never been soo confused in my life. I never got eth tour of the store so I don’t know where to head’s are, or who my manager is, oh where the locker thing is… Oh man… I’m soo worried… My training got changed to Thursday and Friday… some other store… O.o I don’t even know if I’m suppose to wear my uniform… And Thursday coming up I have to get my paycheck, for the orientation. =_= I never new work... or just starting work could be soo difficult… hopefully after my training this will be easier. But I have a really nice uniform, a while dress shirt, black dress pants, and black dress shoes. Really simple but a lot better than what the other grocery stores cashers wear :D

~07.18.06~
Happy Birthday Sydney!!! I hope you liked the 24 cream-sickles I got you! And you better have eaten them all! PUNK!! And don’t be Ungrateful! Plus we still have your date to look forward too! I hope you thought of something nice for me to get you. The water gun war was “epic….” Unlit people were screaming like little girls… I won’t name names… you know who you are… And Stephanie and I had fun making comments and laughing in the background. But dude… those movies…. Well the last one really wasn’t that great…. O.o Oh well it was fun while it lasted.

These lyrics, Have such an impact in my life. Well teh song, it's jsut so meanign ful to me. Don't ask questiones... honestly I don't geel liek explining.
( Lyrics )

Okay so heres my reall issue

Ever feel like you’ve lost your individuality? Well I feel that way… and yes, I am pretty depressed, sadly I don’t think I can talk to anyone… well any friends at least. I’m not sure how to tell them. And I’m afraid if I do, they might hate me…
Why am I so afraid of being hated?
I honestly can’t answer that.
Well let me explain I guess. Well It kind of started yesterday in animation, Brittany told me that Sydney was jealous of all the attention that I was getting from Mr., hockstra, because of my artwork and what not, and she stormed out of the class really fast too. But he was only helping me with my portfolio [for Sheridan], and I spent 3 weeks working on my Corel, Plus I didn’t extra, and he really liked it. I was proud of it. But you know what, She never puts her self out there, she doesn’t take the risk; instead she takes pleasure in putting the heat on me. Honestly WTF!!!
Now I just feel like I don't have my individuality anymore.... It feels like she’s clustering me, Just sort of taking over my life, or trying to show me up.
Why am I always treaded so brutally? I don’t understand why I’ve done. She won’t tell me straight. And honestly, my friends told me that she seems to treat me differently,
It’s really sad, I had so much respect fro that girl, I trusted her, and never thought she’d stab me soo maybe time. What does she expect from me. I not a fucking mat to be walked all over. Have feelings the same as any human being… Obviously she doesn’t realize that. For the past 2 years, She never really celebrated my birthday nor Christmas with me, and this year told me. “I’m sorry I didn’t have any money to get you something.” That was fine, but the kicked was. “Oh here s card form last year I never gave you” she gave he a card that was from last year, and not ever on Christmas it was January. And went my brother died, I yelled at my boyfriend to find Sydney because we need to tell her, and she was more important than him. And when my dog died, I had to tell her, first. Maybe I was the fool all along.
Maybe I should just forget… but I can’t forgive.
There’s way too much DRAMA… god damn it!
I mean, we’ve always been completing with each other with drawing and what not. So that’s whatever. Its just I don’t have a difference anymore... I use to be the random, crazy, wear, and have funky hair person, and the outcast, now, I’m like nothing. And I have no respect from anyone anymore... At least that’s how I feel. -_- Sorry if it’s a burden.
I’ve never felt so degraded in my life. Its unbelievable… and soo stupid, and I really so feel clustered, it’s driving me crazy… I mean why do I have to be yelled at about dying my hair, and why in the hell should she care? Now she wants to do it too, not to mention the same colour as me. Is she rubbing it in my face? I don’t know. But apparently she’s doing to blue because josh told her too. And like Brittany said, if Josh said so, she’ll do it. I wonder if josh told her to jump off a bridge would she but the stupid and blind to do it? The answer would be yes. As mean as it seems. I bet she would. Maybe I’m obsessing to much, but its really pissing me over, I’m beyond stressed, my neck and shoulder and soo tight, because I'm so tense. Weell there are other factors,.. but I soo sick of her, and her treating me like shit. GAWWWWAAA!!!!!!

Hey Brittany!!! I knwo you're reading this!! AND YOU FORGOT YORU PILLOW AT MY HOUSE!!! COme and get it!!!......
aOh me gee!!! look its a pretty picture! yes i did draw it! I didn;'t kwno we could upload like that!

Alright, so Yesterday or rather… last night, I went off with Brittany.. and we eloped…. [O.o –Gets hit with random flying object-] Err Actually I went with her And her family to visit her uncle.. And his trailer… Woot woot! Well During the time there I was being too emo and hating Brittany’s life… that the came fire decided it would hunt me and it followed me. But mostly Brittany, because I hated her life soo much I wanted to die. [lmfao sorry Inside joke…] so anyways after a few ours of being fouce fed by little children… we dead out side to where there was a fire… ha hahaha the fire stick… the smoors weren’t too bad… -_0

Oh and early that day I when to a job faire and I got an interview pretty quickly. Well I get a total rating of E++ and had 2 interviews, one of the info, what can you do, type of interview, and the second one was for hiring. And I would have gotten the job right there, if they weren’t looking for people with experience, but when they finish today, and if they don’t have what they need I’m hired! Well I did go for 3 different departments. I hope I get the job >.< ahhh!!!! I can’t take this waiting! I really won’t to get a bloody job!!! Plus I’ll be able to work with Brittany, if she can get in to bakery which she will, because she was practically hired right there. –hisses at Brittany- Aww I still love you man! –glomps-

Ah and after the wonderful day or not staying in place long, we crashed at my place, and it was really funny, because when we when to sleep. We had 3 blankets we covered with. And one of them ending up between up right down the middle It was.. Strange. So we stared at it, and laughed.

Oh I got my hair cut today!!! Wooot! It soo short! I wonder who will notice.. Anyone? -blinks- Well it’s pretty crazy and now I can tie it up do its out my m way and not getting caught on many ones, clothing, bags, or in any chair…. God that hurts… ^_^ I love my blue/green and blue purple/white/royal hair.


[Note- If you honestly think I’m emo, and I hate someone’s life, Or my own…. You much be fucked in the head… hard…. Let me know. I’ll hunt you down and kick you. :)]

So here I am yet again. There’s only about 3-4 more days till Anime North… My costume is well… still in pieces, and Ms, Johnson, [my friend Brittany’s mother] is helping me, and she said she’d pull all-nighters if she had to. I feel really bad about making her do that, or well even having her thinking that. Tomorrow I’m going over to her house when she gets out of school. And we’re going to work on both mine, and hers. I still need to get the silver shit and what not for my costume I can’t wait to see the other Organization XIII cosplayer there Oooh I’m soo excited!! Not to mentions when I meet the voice actors and get there autographs. Although I think I’m going to fry my tail off because my costume is made out of Vinyl + an inclining, not to mention the black I have to wear under it and the leather gloves…. Did I just hear air-conditioning…?

Man I never realized how slow my CD burner is…

Oh and tomorrow Our Japanese students leave… I have pictures… and we signed their shirts. Well I didn’t because I didn’t have a buddy. But I hung out with them and it was fun stuff! I love them all sooo much! I wish they could stay longer, and my friend Melissa, was a kick ass host, she was literally in ever picture, ever one of them took at least on picture with her and she signed all there t-shirts. I’m soo happy for her ^_^ we were giggling about it all afternoon, on the phone. And Monday we went bowling with them and they kick out tails… but we had fun, and I have songs for them that they wanted but couldn’t find. There’s one who’s called Hirofumi, and we all love him! He’s the funny guy, and he looks like a J-pop artist. But Yuichi is kawaii!!! And Eiji, and Masashi, kept saying “Kawaii Melissa” and “Kimi o daisuke/Daisuke Melissa” and she didn’t understand so I was giggling till they got occupied with something different then I told her and she giggled too. But the funniest/cutes thing was, at the end of the day, Hiro and another Japanese student were fighting over Sarah {Melissa’s older sister.}They’d hug her and say “mine.” It was sooo cute. I’m so going to cry when we say goodbye…. Well seeing as it’s a quarter to one, I shall end here, Till next time.

Sayonara
Jaa, mata ashita aimashou
Xox Sarah-Sempai

It's really akward Loosing you're voice and telling someone that you've lost it [by writin it down] and that right thing they ask is. "How did that happen" expecting me to answer....

-Scraches head- Well I hate to break teh news to them and all, but if i don't have a voice, it's rather hard to tell anyone how i lost is. And writting it down all day starts to piss you off rather quickly.... -sighs-

But that worst is trying to explaine something and you have nothign to right on, so you're dancing around trying to mine out what to do. and believe be I looked pretty funny waving my arms around in teh middle of an intersection trying to get my firends attention and tell not to crass any farther or she'll get hit by a car. and straangly i even tried to scream her name. It only came out as a whisper but it hurt a lot. In teh head I jsut ended up grabbing her. And some strange said he'd tell my mother what i was doing.... He even asked about my background.

Go figuer the fool, trying to ask a mute a bigillion questions, and he kept going thinking it was funny that all i dead was blink at him. Food burns my throat. Oh but i guess i should have said was was wrong.

Okay, well yesterday, school sent everyone home because there was a short cercet in teh electrical department [duh] and because they couldn't fixit right way everyone was sent home early. But I don't think any one had a problem with that. [Pauses, hear random cheering.] yeah, there might have been some disapointsments. [note teh sarcasum.] But moving on. My firends and I, [consisting of Birttany, Melissa, stephanie, Sydney, & myself] all chilled and brittany's house foe teh day, Or at least till 5 ish, then she left for work.

So at her house I started to play Kingdom Hearts II, again. ^-^ I really love that game! <3 and as a small inside joke, I'd call all the stupid character bitches, or Mofos, and scream I love you at teh top of my lungs for the cooler ones. I wasn't alone in this, Syndey was backing me up.

And even early, about tuesday last week I was screaming with excitment over Final FantasyVII: Advent Children.

so all in all, all the screaming i did, all togeather, with barly enough rest of my vocal cords, really damidged them. So much so, that there is a small rip or cut in my throw. but that's all so because of my sinessis and allergies acting up. The doctor jsut said i have to give it a rest for a while and it will heal it self. -shrugges- what can one do.

Oh while I'm at it. Last sunday, I wnt to an anime movie night, and bought a Mr. Bear, that cute loveable plushy form Gravitation, and three FFVII:AC posters. i love them soooooooooo much. and Melissa was petting them and the various otehr posters the cover all my walls. [I wonder what colour my walls aroud again.....hmmm]

ANIME NORTH 2006!!!

Yeah!!!!!! only the best convention out there!!!!!!!

And this year I might.. Might be getting a Hotel. But I'm not 100% sure... In fact.. I'm about 2% sure. O.o

Hey everyone!! I'ts me, Serah! Or demon_moonocver! I jsut reated a new account for no really reason, and deleted my old one. Just thought i woule let you know ;)I'll be updating really soon like in a few minutes. so hang tight.